My whip: "Jaze"
~The story behind my whip~

\ Probably one of the most iconic and notorious obejcts that i've owned would have to be my whip.

It's 12 feet in pure leather goodness, bullwhip, and one of my prized possessions. I used to romp around the city with it in my backpack but in the year 2000, i decided to finally hang it up.

I used to always be ready for a good spar or self defense. People always found it odd because when you think weapons, you think knives, guns, pepper spray or taser...NOT a whip. To each his own i guess. It was more of my individualistic personality that i kept to myself. I always chose weapons that i could almost dance with when in use. The whip, and knives were my choice, the whip being the more chosen.

As a kid growing up, i've always wanted a whip. Just the scene of how fluid and frail something could be, could cause so much pain, and damage with a single flick. The thing could flow like water, and i had an obsession with "water". During my 18th birthday, my sister was seeing a guy who would buy her pretty close to everything she wanted. I was walking around the Castro one day and passed by a leather shop that had whips in the window display. My curiosity got the best of me and i stepped into the shop. Looking completely out of place, i was staring passionately at the long leathery weapons and indulged in my dreams of owning one. I asked the sales person if i could hold one of them, and once it was in my hand i felt power. I didn't want to let it go and completely fell in love with the thing. The whip was only 9 feet long and my lust was for something longer. The sales person reffered me to another store that might have some longer ones. I dashed off to that store and found myself a beautiful 12 foot whip. Scaringly it was the last of it's kind because the sales people there told me that on average "kink shops" were discontinuing getting in 12 footers. That the average length now is only 9 feet. That night i talked to my sister about it and she managed to get enough money from her boyfriend to buy it for me. It was their birthday gift to me. The price was set at $118.00. i ran back to the store the next day and took it home.

Originally i named the whip "S" after one of my boyfriends at that time. I would bring it along with me everywhere and lash it out at objects, gleefully knocking them down from a distance. Months went by and me and my boyfriend at that time went through an extremely messy break up. I became insanely depressed, not allowing myself to come close to anything that had anything to do with him in fears that it would resurrect the memories we had. After some time coped by my sister, i started my road to recovery. I picked up the whip one day and brought it with me to the cliffs over by Ocean Beach. I needed release, a way of getting all the anger and animosity i had out of my system before it ate me up. I took my anger out on a tree and bark flew in all directions as i brought the long snake upon it. I thought to myself that i would no longer tie my beloved whip with my ex, that those memories were gone and that i would name it after my sister. So i gave it the name "Jaze". Since then, my whip has become not only a refference to me, but a symbol of overcoming pain in my life. It was a renewal to myself to the world.