10 Years of Gaydom and then Some
~What it's been like...~

written: 01-03-07

It's been a little over 10 years since i've been out of the closet...being openly gay with people, famly, and friends. I look at that digit and it really doesn't seem that long, but it's felt like a whirlwind and mosoon of events. I remember the years of drug abuse, of acceptance, of masochistic dating, Many of the little things that people NOW are just facing 1 or 3 years into their gay life. It's been a rough journey...i can't say that it was filled with hate though, in fact i had the easiest time coming out to people around me, primarily because no one would be believe me. That and because my mom, even till now, has always been a big fag hag since Gays helped her settle a life here in San Francisco.

Looking at the younger generation though....it brings both a frown and a smile across my face......

A smile because their lives are easier now, just a little, not complete. There are more people coming out at younger ages now. No longer do people wait till they're in their 30's to come, the age is dropping fast, from late 20's, early 20's and now into the teens. As a teenager 15-19, i did my share of community work in the Gay Asian Community. I fought alongside AQU25A, and CUAV for gay rights movements because i wanted a better life and because i wanted a better life for people ahead of me. I wanted to see change, i wanted to hear about a gay or lesbian couple making it in one piece at their senior prom, to actually go to a landmark high school event with someone they truelly chose instead of what society WANTS them to go as. Slowly...but surely, it's happening. but there is a nail though....

that frown. Gay people are becoming items now. Like, when a girl comes up to me saying that she's always wanted a gay friend. It almost sounds like she's shopping for a new car. Aside from that, are also those who take life for granted for being gay in this city. They believe just because they're in San Francisco they can queer out and nothing else matters. Complete disrespect for those who actally fought for those people to be as queer as they can out in public now. The kids i've seen, the gay ones...god....delusional fucks sometimes. You tell them about gay bashing happening in a state like California, and they immediatly think you're lying. "That stuff doesn't happen anymore." closed off little minds...i swear. Heres the reality of it: GAY BASHING STILL EXISTS. There are websites dedicated to reporting where the occurances have happened, and alot of them range from, beatings, shootings, and lynchings even. But no, they just troddle along their way in their horid fendi bags, TOO-tight-designer-jeans, Faux hawk, and Aviator White rimmed glasses thinking the world owes them something when really....they still owe the world alot more.

10 years...i've seen the improvements, and i've seen the dissappointments. Even socially....

I spent New Years Eve at Ruby Skye. I told people prior and after i was going, and i'm pretty sure 98% of the people i told said the same fuckin thing "it's gay nite tonight?" "Theres a Fresh going on tonight?" Ughhh... when did everything and everywhere i go become ....GAY? I just said New Years Eve party at Ruby Skye, and after telling them "no, it's just a party" some of them actually had the nerve of saying "then why are you going?" These are the clouded minds i'm talking about. Sure a gay party would've been cool, but essentially i'd be doing the same thing at any club whether gay or straight. Get drunk, and dance.

10 years of being gay. What it means to me...

We are hated by the world. Theres no lie to that. We will always be hated, even if one day someone died for our cause as a great hero like Martin Luther King Jr. did for the black community. Thats the fuckin fact. Acceptance would be more easier later, but just like racism...it'll stick to people's minds. We will always be persecuted, accused, and tried for just for being who we are. All you can really do is hope that time passes by long enough and that the people who've been putting their asses on the line just so we can get married, are doing a good job. Doesn't sound right does it?
10 years...we're getting there.....but we've still got a LONG way to go